Moon-ing
This post is not about the dare bare act of disrespect. Neither is it about something to do with mental derangement. This is about ancient traditions in India and China that celebrate love between married couples. This is about the heavenly body that has played with the imagination with many a poet – the Moon.
“The moon, like a flower
In heaven’s high bower,
With silent delight
Sits and smiles on the night.” -Walter de la mare
At once mysterious, cold, detached, she has the power to change the tides and the minds of men and women strong, casting her irresistible silvery charms.
“The moon is nothing But a circumambulating aphrodisiac divinely subsidized to provoke the world into a rising birth-rate” -Christopher Fry
Indeed it is thought that one of the possible origins of the concept of “honeymoon” was in 16th century England, sardonically signaling the inevitable waning of the love of newly weds after the first moon (just as the moon looses its fullness once having reached the night of the full moon).
The “old” and almost forgotten use of the word “mooning” refers to either an aimless and languid wandering like the gliding moon, or it refers to yearning, pining and infatuation. Clearly the moon is intricately embedded in the feelings associated with love and longing, as it is with beauty of a seductive, mystical and even dangerous kind.
Some of my favorite movies that have portrayed this effect are Moonstruck, starring Nicholas Cage alongside Cher and Bitter Moon, a Roman Polanski film about the relationship between sexual power and love.
I am digressing however. I wanted to write about Asian customs surrounding the Moon. Not any Moon mind you. But, the Harvest moon in Autumn.
The fourth night from the full moon in the autumnal equinox is when Hindus in North India celebrate the festival of Karva Chauth. Marrried women fast all day and wait till evening to break the fast when the moon comes out. The fast is kept in praying for the long life and health of the husband. The legend goes that one devoted wife was able to defy the God of Death and bring back her beloved husband to life. Her name was Karva. The social significance of such custom was to bring the young daughter in law closer to her in laws, as it entailed being in a village and an environment that was alien and at times hostile to the young bride.
Women of today might scoff at such out dated traditions and I was horrified and amused to know that two of my close friends from school, now married to North Indian men, actually celebrated it with all the pomp and glee that it entails. And they claimed they had a blast. Why? Well for one it involved a fair amount of decking up. The other major factor was that their respective husbands were put on a guilt trip and so they, being modern men, decided to accompany their wives on the fast. Intriguing, huh?
My friend from China invited me to celebrate the Moon festival with her around the same time, to literally watch the brilliant full moon of the autumn season and eat quaint moon cakes. As I gathered around in her garden along with the relatives, it struck me that she must be missing her husband, pursuing his PhD in another city. She recounted the legend of the ancient Chinese architect whose beautiful wife was banished to the moon, and how he pined away for her and stared at the moon, hoping to see her face in it. The Chinese believe that even lovers, separated distance, can feel the special bond, on such a night, when they gaze at the moon, knowing their lover is doing the same too, bringing them together at that special hour of silvery enchantment.
As I was returning from her house, I caught a glimpse of the moon, yet again, and it seemed almost ethereal to me and I wondered, just wondered if He was thinking of me too. The next morning a call, from the distant shores:
Him: “I missed you.”
Me: “Me too Hun”
Him: “Delhi is suddenly full of lovey duvey couples”
Me: “Why?”
Him: “Baby, it was Karva Chauth! I know neither of our families celebrates it. But the feeling was just infectious.”
Me: “I know exactly what you mean.”
As I kept the phone down, I traveled back several years into my late teens when Dad was away on official work. His only means of communication to us were faxes, emails being severely screened in that country. I wasn’t ready for the giggles and the nudging at the government fax office in Kolkata when I went to collect his latest post to us. I looked and saw there was a diagram of some sort on it. I didn’t want to intrude as the post was addressed to Mom. Hours later, a very glassy eyed, cracked voice Mom recounted to me how Dad had drawn a picture of the moon which he had been gazing at in a completely foreign country, in the midst of a desert, the Mediterranean gleaming beyond. And inside the moon was a face, my mom’s face!!!
Someday, I secretly prayed that my life partner would miss me with that same intensity and feel so deeply for me too.
It defined the word “romantic” for me!
November 30, 2006 at 2:30 am
Women of these days find it difficult to understand the meaning of these incredible customs and traditions;but sometimes when they find others performing these customs it influences them in a certain way;